About KindredPath
I support families and loved ones of trans and gender-diverse people — helping them move from fear to understanding, from confusion to connection. If this sounds like you I would be privileged to companion you on your journey together.
My primary focus is to support parents, grandparents, and families of trans or gender exploring people as well as clinicians, therapists, and employers. I also speak and run workshops for Churches, organisations and workplaces. I also offer dating and relationship coaching to trans couples.
Whakapapa / Who I am
Ko Achilty te Maunga
ko Achonachie te Moana
ko Mooltan te Waka
ko McLay te Iwi
ko Nicola taku ingoa.
My ancestors are Scottish, Welsh and English.
My great grandparents settled in Aotearoa New Zealand in the 1800s.
My story
I grew up in a Pentecostal Pastor’s home. My parents could be gentle and kind. They could also be very judgemental. They and our Church held beliefs around gender and sexuality which led me to feel fundamentally flawed inside. I was the "ugly duckling" for whom the thought I might not be a duck was unthinkable. I was deeply spiritual and followed in my father's footsteps to, first, become a Pentecostal Bible Teacher and, later, to be ordained as an Anglican Priest. I felt profoundly wrong inside and spent 54 years trying to be a boy and a man. The turning point for me was reading Georgina Beyer's book, Change for the Better and finding myself deeply identifying with her experience as the boy George. However I felt confused for some years and afraid to come out. It took me 11 years to make peace with being trans and come out publicly and professionally. I retired from a career as a Senior Chaplain in Aged Care on Good Friday 2022 and came out publicly as the Reverend Nicola Sian Frater on Easter Day that same weekend.
Shortly afterwards a small multi-cultural Anglican Congregation appointed me as their vicar (Parish Priest) and I continue taking services for them on Sundays. I am on the Board (and leadership team) of Auckland Rainbow Community Church (ARCC) which meets at St Matthew in the City on Sunday evenings. Monday to Friday I support people with experience of mental disability. I am also a small-scale philanthropist supporting families in Pakistan, Uganda and Kenya and a school in Uganda. And I have founded a small charity to help others safely do the same thing. I am autistic and have ADHD.
Study and Training
My undergraduate degree is in theology majoring in Spirituality. I later completed a Grad Dip in Practical Theology and a Post Grad Dip in Disability and Mental Health. I have trained in Dementia Care and Palliative Care and I am training as a Dating and Relationship Coach with Conscious Girlfriend Academy (CGA) the only learning community of its kind in the world for Lesbians and other self-identifying women and adjacent trans and non-binary people who love women.
Nicola Sian Frater (she/them)